tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20605390790218179202024-03-18T21:26:57.293-07:00Musings. Ponderings. Wanderings.By Gretchen LindemannGretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.comBlogger123125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-44846239762292780662021-07-15T00:27:00.001-07:002021-07-15T00:27:28.483-07:00Letter to Little Gretchen<p>What would it look like if we all took the time to slow down and pay some much needed attention to our inner child? That part of us that is scared, tired, wounded, and looking for a safe place to snuggle up and feel loved. What if we showed the same compassion to ourselves that we showed to our own children? To our friends and loved ones? There's a time and a place for "you just gotta keep going". But these days, I think we need less of that and more permission to stop. To rest. This is my attempt at acknowledging my own inner child and giving her the understanding and nurturing she craves.</p><p><br /></p><p>Gretchen, darling girl. You are <b>so</b> strong. But you have been through, and are still going through, a lot. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to feel overwhelmed; to have these big feelings. I know you're hurting. In your body, in your soul. You miss your Momma. Especially as you're learning how to <i>be</i> a mama. It's okay to cry about that. It's okay to cry in general. </p><p>You are safe. I see you. I accept and appreciate you as you are. You will have an Inner Critic nagging you daily, as he is now. That's okay too. Let your critic blab on in the back seat. You're in the drivers seat, and I'm here to tell you that it's okay to pullover, and rest. Stretch your legs, stand amongst the trees, bask in the dappled sunlight, breathe in the fresh air.</p><p style="text-align: left;">You deserve to be loved, nurtured, cherished, honoured, protected, seen, known, appreciated. But it must start with <i>you</i>. <span style="text-align: center;">So here I am, as your True Self, telling you that I love you, that I honour you, that </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">you are worthy</span></b>. </p><p>I see you, and I love what I see. I appreciate you and all that you are, regardless of what you do or accomplish. Relax, girl. Rest more. Play more. Enjoy the unfolding.</p><p>All my love,</p><p>Gretchen</p>Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-80897169646472045972021-06-15T06:34:00.004-07:002021-06-15T08:55:22.807-07:00Resolving to Blend<p>Nicole Gulotta writes in her book <i>Wild Words</i>:</p><p>"Seeking balance - which feels like we're teetering on the edge, straining to ready ourselves - is not the goal. Instead, let's resolve to blend. Writing, family and work aren't isolated elements but moving parts with constant overlap that can inform, support, and even enhance one another."</p><p>I have always said "something's gotta give", as I've juggled writing, dancing, work, a social life, my health, and now motherhood. I throw my energy and focus at one or two things, knowing that whatever I've turned my attention from will suffer. "Balance," I say, "it's all about balance", choosing to see the teeter totter of the scales as balance in action. In reality, constantly letting something slip feels like perpetual failure. Now that I am a mother, I cannot afford this hop scotch approach to life. My daughter must always come first. Does this mean that all the other areas of my life must suffer?</p><p>Gulotta is reframing this for me, giving me hope. <i>Blend</i>, she says. The idea that looking after my baby to the best of my ability could possibly "inform, support, and even enhance" my writing - and vice versa - is mind boggling and exhilarating. Can dancing also enhance my mothering? Could writing inform my social life? These paradigm shifting words were only in the introduction of her book. I paused at the beginning of chapter one titled, "The Season of Beginnings" in order to reflect on how apt her words are at this time in our lives. I feel as if she has a window into my life, right down to her observation of stirring the cream in her tea, munching on pumpkin bread to sustain the breastfeeding life, and drying the baby's bottle on a special drying rack that looks like grass. </p><p>Beyond the eerily similar details, the cadence and simple poignancy of her words are speaking straight to my soul. It is as if she has read my journals and is responding to me with a love letter called <i>Wild Words</i>. To believe this book is written for me would be absurd and narcissistic, of course. But I can't help but be awestruck by the relevance of not just her words, but the way in which she weaves them.</p><p>Our little family is indeed in a Season of Beginnings. Or perhaps more accurately, a Season of Transition. In the last 9 months since our little one arrived earth-side, we have experienced almost every possible life change. With a new baby came a two job losses, launching our business, a death in the family, another job... and then loss, a decision to launch another side gig, and the plan to move not just houses, but cities in the next few months.</p><p>Amidst all of these external changes is our ever-changing baby girl. She is consistent in her joy and exuberance, but she is growing and learning and developing at warp speed. It is as if she is mirroring the shifting patterns of our lives with her own; letting go of old habits and reaching for new and greater things. Literally and figuratively. </p><p>In these special moments of watching her pull herself to standing, or inspect the detail of an object with rapt attention, I am struck by her undivided presence, and I am reminded that I can only be one place at a time. I can move from place to place, from moment to moment, but I am only ever right where I am. It seems obvious, but this is not how we live. We are doing one thing and thinking about another. We call it "balancing". </p><p>But what are we missing in the present moment when we juggle in this way? Perhaps Gulotta's exhortation to blend is about being present. After all, how else can we expect to inform or enhance one area of life with another if we are not truly experiencing those areas? I wondered at the beginning of this essay how motherhood could inform my writing, but now I realize it already has.</p><p>So here is to new beginnings, to embracing transitions, relishing in change, and basking in the present moment. </p><p><i>"Let's resolve to blend."</i></p>Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-17622606965189347122021-06-13T23:28:00.000-07:002021-06-13T23:28:36.067-07:00The Little Things<p>Hello, old friend.</p><p>It's been awhile since I wrote on this blog. I kind of... forgot about it. Moving our lives to Perth, having a baby, and turning our lives upside down in more ways than one has distracted me for over two years. But I can hear the page calling me once again. Many writers know about this phenomenon. The page is always calling, but we only hear it when we slow down enough to listen. </p><p>As the fog of new-motherhood slowly lifts, I find myself eager to return to myself. No, return isn't the right word. Re-discover. Yes, I am eager to rediscover who I am in this new-mama-skin, with a new little human that depends on me, filling my world with new perspectives and priorities daily.</p><p>This blog needs a purpose. It sounds odd, but my goal is not for my blog to be read. That will be a nice side-effect, if it happens. I just need to put my writing somewhere other than journals that fill and fill and fill, and then collect dust for decades. I won't stop journaling - that will always be a necessity for my sanity. But I need another outlet, so I am turning once again to this blog of mine. </p><p>I've decided to use this as a place to respond to writing prompts and inspiration from books such as <i>Wild Words</i> and <i>The Right to Write</i>. (Hence my lack of eagerness to actually have this blog read, as it will mostly be a practice field of sorts.) If the occasional post strikes me in the just the right way, it may find it's way onto <a href="https://vocal.media/" target="_blank">Vocal</a>. </p><p>I was just perusing Vocal, and I came across a <a href="https://vocal.media/fiction/a-day-in-the-life-oeixmk0pg6" target="_blank">beautiful little story</a> about appreciating the little things in life. It is somewhat reminiscent of the Pixar movie <i>Soul, </i>which is one of my favourites. Sara Rose writes, "He was the most joyous person on any dance floor. He said he felt more alive dancing than almost anything else." Tears pricked at my eyes when I read this. I know exactly how this feels. I feel most alive when dancing, holding my daughter, laughing, crying, and spending time here, with a blank page. </p><p>So in a way, I guess you could say that my goal for this blog is to visit that feeling regularly. To practice appreciation of the little things. To dance more. To laugh and cry and hold my daughter as often as possible. To see what comes up when I take Julia Cameron's advice and see writing as play, not work. Who knows, maybe I'll even get inspired to finally submit my YA novel to a publisher or two, instead of distracting myself with the safe anonymity of a blog no one reads. (Insert smirk here).</p><p>Let's just see what happens, shall we?</p><p>I'll end this post with another quote from Sara Rose's story: </p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: medium;">"But the small things, Alice... the first bite of marzipan outside a cafe, the summer breeze fluttering your skirt against your legs, the phone calls with faraway friends... life is made of these."</span></i></p>Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-53846550735060274352019-01-04T16:18:00.000-08:002019-01-04T16:18:34.163-08:00Love Thy SelfSelf-love.<br />
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It's a buzz word. It's something the hippies talk about. You know the kind. The "new age" folk who are always going on about your inner child and finding beauty within. "Love yourself," they say.<br />
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Like many things, it can start to lose its impact after hearing it a thousand times. It starts as a bright light, a warm fuzzy feeling, then fades into a meaningless glimmer. And yet... Somewhere past the paisley patterns, beyond the patchouli and incense, I can see a deeper, more significant truth to this catch phrase. A truth that is connected to one of the tenets of life that I keep coming back to again and again: <i>Accept what is</i>.<br />
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Yes, self-love can translate to self-care and self-improvement. But the motive often gets muddled. We start to add conditions to loving ourselves. "Once I've done A, B, and C, then I will love myself", or "once I look like that, then I will love myself," or my personal kryptonite, "once I've accomplished X, Y, and Z, then I will love who I am."<br />
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In applying these conditions, we miss the point. The hyphen in "self-love" has become a sorry and forgotten place holder for the word <i>unconditional</i>.<br />
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Love yourself <i>unconditionally</i>.<br />
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This is something I talk about doing. It's something I encourage others to do. But it's not something I practice. Not really. Like many others, the love and appreciation I have for myself is dependent on a number of things. The food I eat, the amount of exercise I do, whether I write well (or write at all), the experiences I have and how they measure up to others' experiences as dictated by social media.<br />
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I hate admitting this. It means I have been caught in the Great Web of Lies. The web woven by society's many facets, through an unending myriad of messages, convincing us that we are not good enough as we are. Convincing us that we are not worthy of love, <i>even from ourselves</i>. It is from our Self that this love must come if we are to learn how to love, and accept love from, others. But we cannot rely on the love of others to fulfil and validate us. We cannot control the choices of others. Their choice to love us - or not - has everything to do with them and nothing to do with us. It would be nice if we could take credit for their affections, but in doing so we misplace our self-worth. We begin to rely on their affections to affirm us of who we are. This is not the way. This is not sustainable.<br />
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So, with boxes unchecked, things undone, and body parts untoned, we must look in the mirror and <i>begin to love</i>. What better place to start loving than from a place of doubt? It is from this place that you must accept what is, that you must accept yourself as you are.<br />
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Love. Your. Self. There are no conditions to meet that will make you loveable. There are no feats to accomplish that will proclaim your worthiness. Right now in this moment, however broken, put-together, mixed up, figured out, out of shape or fit you are: love yourself. Unconditionally. Every stretch mark and dimple, every flaw and imperfection - it is part of who you are. It is worthy of love. <b>You</b> are worthy of love.<br />
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If this acceptance of 'what is', this appreciation of Self, inspires a declaration of self-care or self-improvement, fine. But let it be from a place of knowing that what you have is already enough. Everything else is just a bonus.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-92072539210190077512018-12-04T12:57:00.002-08:002018-12-05T02:15:16.340-08:00La Rocca<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I finally know the purpose of life.</i></span></div>
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Well, I've known for awhile now. Ever since my dear friend, Brian Peters, told me so.<br />
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But as I sat on the edge of a cliff, surrounded by wild forest, overlooking the edge of old Cefalu, and staring into the vast Mediterranean horizon - I truly <i>knew</i> it. It struck me with an intensity I was not expecting. It sank down deep, in its reverberating Truth, down to my core. It seeped, warm and new, into my bones.<br />
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I saw it in the soaring of the seagulls as they drifted from one thermal column to the next. I felt it coming from the sailors in their sailboats down below as they skimmed peacefully across the water. I heard it in the distant, crashing waves, and the twittering of birds in the trees that surrounded me. The trees, shrubs and grasses shimmered with it. I could smell the sweet scent of it emanating from them.<br />
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<i><b>Joy!</b></i></div>
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The purpose of life - the pulse of life - is <i>joy</i>. This feeling, coupled with the grandiose scene before me, washed over me and left me with a profound sense of insignificance. A tiny dot swallowed up by the vast and wild landscape. Such perspective! Such relief!<br />
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There is no better way to be relieved of one's anxieties than to realise how small they are in the scope of this universe. Ahem... this <i>multi</i>verse. Nothing matters. Not really. Nothing matters but the joy of co-creation, the expansion born from this creativity, and the freedom we innately possess to experience it all.<br />
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In fact, we are so free, that we can choose not to experience it at all.<br />
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The choice is ours to make, every moment of every day.<br />
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I choose<b style="font-style: italic;"> joy.</b></div>
Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-16713370651583845922018-11-28T09:59:00.001-08:002018-11-28T09:59:25.239-08:00Analysis ParalysisAllow me to think out loud.<br />
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If there is anything I desire from this traveling extravaganza, it is this: <b>clarity of purpose</b>.<br />
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Purpose is something that we all seek. It's human nature to long for a reason to get out of bed each day. I've heard a number of times that those who feel they have a role to play in their community claim to be the happiest, most purpose-filled, longest-living people on the planet. (Watch the movie <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vZ1LutLRRY" target="_blank">Happy</a></i> to learn more about these incredible people).<br />
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Having a role doesn't appear to be enough, however. Many people get up and go to work, fulfilling a role for 8 hours or more, but that role doesn't fulfill <i>them</i>. The key, then, is not just a role, but a role <i>within</i> a community. Being a part of something greater than yourself. Something that supports more than just your nuclear family.<br />
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But my fear, and the subsequent confusion in this role-seeking, is the fact that community isn't what it once was. The earth's population is 7.7 billion, and yet we've never been so lonely. Our independence has led to isolation. Our local communities have been all but usurped by a global community. Neighbourhood hangouts have become digitalised, conversations with market stall owners have turned into text chats with the delivery guy, who's bringing our groceries <i>to us</i>. We used to belong to one or two communities. We had our school folk, or our church folk, or our pub folk. Or all of the above. Now there are hundreds of both real and virtual communities to choose from on a daily basis. How does one choose? Sometimes the choices can be so overwhelming, the only one that seems viable, is Netflix.<br />
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The more traditional societies seem to have it easy. Individuals are born into a role. Fisherman. Basket weaver. Farmer. Hunter. But is that better? Perhaps it is better only if you are ignorant to your options. As soon as the options are spread out before you, does what you have no longer carry the same value? After all, a person does not scorn the bread they have to eat, until they see a banquet before them, just out of reach. Suddenly the bread they were thankful to have seems measly and inadequate. Ignorance can be blissful, and too many options can by paralysing.<br />
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I don't have the luxury of ignorance. I see my choices, and they are many. I have the freedom to choose, and for that I am grateful.<br />
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But if I am so free, why do I feel so bound by indecision? I am suffering from paralysis by analysis. Where to live? What to pursue? Should I study again? If so, what, and where? Where to work? What to write? The options stretch on, endlessly.<br />
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All I can say is: thank goodness for Netflix.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-67101442661868856882018-11-13T10:55:00.000-08:002018-11-13T10:57:15.618-08:00Alguero<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I love my husband dearly.<br />
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However, the joy I feel as I walk, solo, out of our Sardinian apartment is overwhelming. As I step into the narrow, winding cobblestone alley I feel joy bubble up inside of me. Unable to contain myself, it comes out as a squeak, with a simultaneous skip of the feet.<br />
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<i>Alone, at last!</i> My introverted soul soars out towards the glittering harbour and up to the blue skies. <i>This moment... is mine. </i>I breathe a deep, satisfying breath. It is just me and my journal, and the waves of the Mediterranean, crashing against ancient stone walls.<br />
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I find a stone bench, warm from the sun, with the word "madness" written in green graffiti across it. An old, ivory building with forest green shutters and rust stains dripping from the windows acts as a buffer for the brisk, southerly wind. <i>Perfect</i>. Sitting down, a smile of contentment spreads across my face. I take in my surroundings. The sea stretches out before me, my view of it partially blocked by what was clearly once a wall of defence. Little divots are cut into the top of the weather-worn stone, presumably for brave archers to shoot their arrows through. Catapults and cannons speckle the promenade, an ode to a time long gone.<br />
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Now in 2018, a row of apartments face the water. White-washed buildings with turquoise doors, pink façades with blue windows, and yellow buildings with wooden shutters. All of them aglow in the late afternoon sun.<br />
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In the summer, this coastal walk must be busting with foreigners. But now, in November, the tourists have left, and the local Sardinians have the quiet, sleepy town to themselves once more. Shops boasting reams of vibrant coral necklaces close at midday, opening again later in the evening, or not at all. Half the pizzerias are shut for the season, leaving about a dozen still open, just a stones throw from our apartment in old town Alghero.<br />
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And the sun... oh, the sun! So delightfully gentle. I could sit for hours on this bench and not worry about burning.<br />
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This is happiness for me. A harbour full of gleaming masts, swaying and clanking; the percussion for the seagulls symphony. Nowhere to be, nothing to be done. Just me and my journal, and the warm, crinkled smiles of wizened Sardinians, nodding silent greetings as they pass by.<br />
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The sun has dipped behind a fluffy bank of clouds, streaming glorious beams of celestial light from behind it. This is my heaven. But it's time to move on.<br />
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Following the curve of the promenade, I step into the wind. My skirt whips around my knees as I walk, my cardigan billowing out behind me. The coolness of the salty wind on my face edges on discomfort. It reminds me how alive I am.<br />
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Stopping to lean on the ancient wall, I watch as the rugged shoreline entices the deep, azure waters to join it, again and again. Not a stone seems to budge with the relentless chase of the tide. Such bravery! Such fortitude! These rocks and the wall that is built upon them have withstood the waves for centuries, and will likely stand for centuries more.<br />
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The birds in the rustling palms behind me twitter with excitement. Twilight approaches.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
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In a few moments the sun will drop below the bank of clouds and hover above the horizon. This brief time of day is my most favourite, for it's the most mysterious. Shadows stretch, yawning across the pavement. Sandstone buildings glow, almost other-worldly in their luminosity. It feels as if reality hovers on the edge of another dimension. As if now, and only now, I could walk under the nearby old stone arch and be transported to another realm.<br />
<br />
The moment shimmers with possibility! But the shimmering is brief. Lamps click on, pouring fluorescence onto the cobblestones. The spell is broken. The moment is beckoned away by the departed sun, now illuminating the other side of the world with early morning light.<br />
<br />
All enchantment is not lost, however. The night is a new kind of wonder, a new kind of adventure.<br />
<br />
For someone else, perhaps.<br />
<br />
For me, it is my queue to head home. I did not dress for the chill that is now present beneath the darkening sky. I begin to walk back. Just me and my journal, and the slap of my sandals on the stones.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkTzJ6BvwCB5ZsPrQPVD0pL76ESwVuicRe8eOlD2dxnRwGnvNgxi9cjvM9OK0Hpq6Am-MLAi3QFRsKeJaZYoLmim3Sdk3XAm_RhjjQrueEiTu6F_SaXqOS4pmop0K7uOk7u3nrMcDWBug/s1600/alghero+cobblestones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1313" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkTzJ6BvwCB5ZsPrQPVD0pL76ESwVuicRe8eOlD2dxnRwGnvNgxi9cjvM9OK0Hpq6Am-MLAi3QFRsKeJaZYoLmim3Sdk3XAm_RhjjQrueEiTu6F_SaXqOS4pmop0K7uOk7u3nrMcDWBug/s320/alghero+cobblestones.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
As I wander slowly back through the narrow, winding alleys, I ponder the moment that has just passed. Such magic always comes and goes with astonishing brevity. For me, it is a poignant reminder of the nature of life and the importance of presence. Appreciation for what is, and a child-like eagerness for more seems to be the only way to live a joyful existence.<br />
<br />
These moments, like grains of sand in our hands, glint golden while we hold them, only to fall through our fingers and be carried away by the breeze, seconds later. Let them fall. Do not try to catch the grains as they fly away, lest you lose sight of the new ones being poured into your palms, ready to be admired.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-84529557985726921282018-11-08T10:55:00.001-08:002018-11-08T11:18:43.816-08:00Accordian blues<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The sun is setting over Porto...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCdqEbgp_g27F3pOsmHe7Fl_VklQ6r57_qJ-hk1CgOwy2hMWv5Hsalf8xSKPTUXBW45cSJmLP39dsNrZI0fC6qdy57Uo4sjQngXbMcciHRv4e7bXszdfD_R8q1Y2X6nFe7SMPhI95cAb4/s1600/sunset+%2522porto%2522.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCdqEbgp_g27F3pOsmHe7Fl_VklQ6r57_qJ-hk1CgOwy2hMWv5Hsalf8xSKPTUXBW45cSJmLP39dsNrZI0fC6qdy57Uo4sjQngXbMcciHRv4e7bXszdfD_R8q1Y2X6nFe7SMPhI95cAb4/s320/sunset+%2522porto%2522.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The sun shines gold on architectural relics, and silver on cement apartment blocks. The clouds are rippled, like a disturbed pond frozen in time. Each time I blink they are a new shade of tangerine and rose. At first brilliant and eye-catching, then soft and faded, with lavender smudges.<br />
<br />
There is an accordion being played in the distance. I saw its player as I walked back to our humble abode in the Cedofeita barrio of Porto. She had a cable-knit sweater on, loose around the neck. It's deep, umber colour brought out her matte, burgundy lipstick, which looked striking against her porcelain skin. She sat on a wooden box, curly hair tossed into a bun. Her denim legs were crossed, capped by black boots that probably used to shine. A cigarette dangled from her full lips. She began to stretch the accordion. She seemed reluctant about it, almost apathetic. In fact, she appeared to care more about getting what she could get out of that cigarette than about what was coming from the yawning instrument in her lap.<br />
<br />
Although profoundly melancholic, the whole scene cheered me considerably. It reminded me of how I felt when I first saw the film, <i>Amelie</i>. A sad-sweet feeling. Perhaps she was playing a song about life. Life, after all, is both sweet, and sad; full of joys and sorrows. Just as the push and pull of the accordion creates music, the ebb and flow of happy moments defines our lives. With that thought, need she play a song about life, or need she just play? Thinking about life, it's nature, and its elusive meaning always cheers me a bit. As does blues music. The croon of a broken heart backed by a wailing guitar does wonders for my soul. Maybe I need a therapist.<br />
<br />
Or maybe I need to learn the accordion.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-47585921119918388542018-10-27T05:07:00.000-07:002018-10-30T06:53:30.969-07:00Seagulls<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>So much of life is about expectations and perspective...</b></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7BiHkhoYaNpe61tk9Q-GNorbYGhQMN82o42xZ8VZmEwYC1C0m-BiPRSkRvPmAjm8gwo-ndiK2qYCKhYgwffdNnIRIqMU_A1saiskXrb9ueMJa8ZGE5AFJ0s853FBfWt48K2phD78vfp4/s1600/Porto+beach+sunset.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7BiHkhoYaNpe61tk9Q-GNorbYGhQMN82o42xZ8VZmEwYC1C0m-BiPRSkRvPmAjm8gwo-ndiK2qYCKhYgwffdNnIRIqMU_A1saiskXrb9ueMJa8ZGE5AFJ0s853FBfWt48K2phD78vfp4/s320/Porto+beach+sunset.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Porto, Portugal - 22 October 2018</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If I had come to the beach expecting a spiritual revelation, or an awakening of the soul, I'd be sorely disappointed. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But if I had come to the beach expecting to get shat on by a seagull, followed by a late afternoon nap behind a rock to keep the sand from getting in my eyes, I'd be satisfied.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Satisfaction is the result of expectations being met, and perspective is what determines our experience.</div>
Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-41976779178678056502018-10-23T06:20:00.000-07:002018-10-23T06:20:20.012-07:00Pudding<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Traveling forces one to be flexible. If you are not, you will break.<br />
<br />
Our train got cancelled on our way to Gent from Amsterdam. The turn of events landed us in Rotterdam Centraal on a "layover" en route to Belgium.<br />
<br />
If our train hadn't been cancelled, and if we hadn't had to twice change platforms, we wouldn't have enjoyed our moment in the sun, drinking coffee and eating a warm slice of Dutch apple pie. If we didn't just accept the circumstances and let go of the oars, so to speak, we would've been thrashing against the current, fighting the flow of events, and potentially missing out on one of Holland's finest desserts. Instead, we peacefully drifted on, munching contentedly, while observing a few such thrashers.<br />
<br />
One of these was a lovely, blond woman who looked to be in her late 20's. She fought the current with all her might. Blush and lipstick delicately - purposefully - applied, hair coiffed just so, toffee-coloured peacoat cinched around her tiny waist, she <i>clomp, clomp, clomped</i> in dainty heels to the new train platform. Italian curses and manicured hands flew feverishly around her head. The way she furrowed her brow and huffed and puffed through her cute little nose, one might have mistaken her for a rhinoceros in pumps.<br />
<br />
The proof's there in the pudding: Beauty does not beget happiness. Especially when paired with inflexibility.<br />
<br />
"Accepting what is", however, does. I am not traveling in style. My hair is due to be washed, and the little make-up I did have on has been rubbed off absentmindedly as the day progresses. I don't mind. Like unpredictable train travel, I accept it, and move on.<br />
<br />
While I admire those who find joy in traveling stylishly, for me it is just something else to think about. Something to distract me. The hair up-keep, the lipstick maintenance - these things would keep me from being fully immersed in the present moment.<br />
<br />
I cast no judgement on those who look like they've stepped out of a fashion magazine, complete with a matching roller bag. By all means, carry on with your attractive ways, strut your stuff from London to Paris. The bedraggled rest of us are looking on with admiration, enjoying the view - and the pie.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-15474321646280831062018-10-07T11:04:00.001-07:002018-10-07T11:04:46.383-07:00Freedom within the form
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/* Style Definitions */
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{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
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mso-style-noshow:yes;
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How
can we create a kind of structure, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">a
routine and a rhythm <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">while
also embracing the freedom we long for? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Is
this lack of structure <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">a
lack of discipline? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because
we’re so used to being told <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">where</i> to
be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">when</i>, and for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">how long</i>? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And
this desire for freedom,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">this
desire to change something,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">to re-invent
ourselves – <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">is
it not just a façade?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A
mask we wear,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">covering our <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">true</i> desire?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our
desire for <b>purpose</b>?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What,
then, is more important? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The
form? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or
what’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">within it</i>? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Are
they equal parts of the same whole? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or are
they separate things that can survive alone, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">but
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thrive</i> when living in symbiosis? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You
can have the form. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But
it can crush you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It doesn’t
mean you have the freedom within it <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">to
explore and travel through life with joy, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">knowing
full well your purpose within. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And
you can have the freedom, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">but
without the form,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">you just…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">drift.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Some
people are okay with the latter. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They
are called drifters for a reason. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Rolling
stones, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">gathering
no moss. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There
is something poetic, in here, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">somewhere. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Trapped
between the prose lies a poem. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It
oozes from between the letters, wanting to be seen. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why
so elusive? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As
elusive as one’s purpose. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ha!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But
purpose with a capital “P” is only there if we need it to be. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If
we choose it to be. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But
what is purpose without structure? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What
is freedom without form? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Does
‘boundaries’ have to be such a dirty word? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or
can it just be a cage without the bars? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Just
a box that the wind blows through. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lines
that guide you but don’t trap you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Poles
that protect you but don’t tame you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No
one ever said freedom came with a price. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh
wait… <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">but
why must that price be so goddamn high? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why
can’t it be something joyfully paid? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Let’s,
each of us, ask ourselves, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;">what do we want</span></i><span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;">? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But
more importantly, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;">why</span></i><span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;">?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here
I am, punching words into the keyboard, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">letting
go of the oars <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">in
this stream of consciousness. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Drifting.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There’s
no right way, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">there’s
no wrong answer. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There’s
just energy, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">contrast,
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #676760; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #676760; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=75000 lumo=25000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text2; mso-themecolor: text2; mso-themetint: 191;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and
desire.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-89651966034226029772018-06-12T05:07:00.001-07:002018-06-12T05:07:21.026-07:00Telling a New StoryI sat down to write about how overwhelmed I was with everything that's on my plate. I thought that if I wrote it all out, it would somehow leave that part of my brain where everything spins like a squeaky hamster wheel, and take all the accompanying anxiety with it.<br />
<br />
Well, my plans were foiled. When I opened my journal, I saw the end of the last entry I had made only two days prior. It went something like this: "I am loving watching my life unfold with such ease and beauty. Everything is just coming together, with very little effort and so many joyous moments of serendipity."<br />
<br />
<i>What has changed in the last two days?</i> I asked myself. The answer? <i>Nothing</i>. Nothing, that is, but my perspective. In a moment of weakness, I had succumbed to the temptation to believe that I should be accomplishing all-the-things, and all-the-things should be perfectly executed. (Thanks, social media).<br />
<br />
By choosing to believe that falsehood, however briefly, I threw myself into a downward spiral and ran to my journal to vent. Upon seeing my last entry it dawned on me:<br />
<br />
When I am overwhelmed, I am putting myself in a position of powerlessness. I am, in essence, choosing to let my circumstances dictate how I feel about my life. In this case, I was giving my "to-do" list power over my sense of well-being.<br />
<br />
That power has now returned to it's rightful owner: <b>me</b>. How? I chose to see my list of all-the-things as opportunities and ideas to pursue from a good-feeling place. It has become a rough guide, not a task master. A reminder of all the beautiful things unfolding in my life, not a dictator that controls my daily experience.<br />
<br />
In other words, I began to tell myself a new story. The characters and the plot have not changed. But the tone of the story has undergone a metamorphosis simply by altering my perspective.<br />
<br />
From this place, from this stronger stance, I am empowered, and once again in control of my experience, rather than a "victim to my circumstances".<br />
<br />
Even in this place of empowerment, I gave into the temptation yet again another two days later. I saw someone who is embodying the true essence of what it means to be wild and free. I felt envious. I wondered if I was doing something wrong, and how I could change it. (Thanks again, social media).<br />
<br />
Before I dove head first into that shame-spiral, I realised that I was <i>making a choice</i> to feel something other than wild and free. I was holding up a mirror that did not reflect who I really am. A mirror that told me lies. I was changing my story.<br />
<br />
<i>Can I </i>choose<i> to be wild and free in my daily experience?</i> I asked myself. The answer? <i>Yes</i>. It is a myth that my ideal set of circumstances must in be place before I can feel free to be me. But I have to make a choice. And that choice begins with telling myself a new, and better, story.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-32815880356800568552018-04-15T21:54:00.000-07:002018-04-15T21:54:03.124-07:00The Freedom to ChooseMore and more these days, I find that I enjoy time to my myself. For myself. By myself. I used to not know if I was introverted or extroverted. I know now, undoubtedly, that I am an introvert. I require this time alone, in silence, without so much as music on, to maintain my mental health.<br />
<br />
It's not exactly silent, however. Even at 7:30am on a Saturday. I can hear traffic to my left, a child rambling on about something outside to my right, Jacques' deep-sleep breathing in the loft upstairs, and pigeons. So... many... bloody... pigeons.<br />
<br />
But there is no one speaking to me, and no one I am obligated to speak to. Just me, my journal, and a golden milk latte.<br />
<br />
This, for me, is freedom. Yet, there is a current of fear that threads its way through this river of freedom. Adjacent to this current is joy, and the two are intrinsically connected by <i>choice</i>.<br />
<br />
Allow me to explain. In this moment of solitude, with my to-do list set aside, I am free. I am free to choose to do - or not do - whatever I wish. This freedom of choice can be exhilarating. It can also be paralyzing.<br />
<br />
In a society where most of us operate out of obligations and responsibilities, moments of freedom such as this can be terrifying. These responsibilities appear to be choices that are made <i>for</i> us. (Or so we perceive). We've learned to thrive off of fulfilling commitments, accomplishing tasks, and moving purposefully down our to-do lists. There's no shame in this. I personally love ticking the boxes next to my never-ending list of items. There is a certain feeling of pride in knowing you are taking care of things that need to taken care of.<br />
<br />
There are repercussions to this way of being, however. When given the option to do whatever we want, and that whatever we choose needn't have any inherent purpose other than the sheer joy of doing it... we panic.<br />
<br />
How many times have you heard, "My life is so busy, I don't even know what I would do with free time if I had it." I hear fear in these words. "What do I even like anymore? What do I truly want to do with my time?"<br />
<br />
Perhaps what we are really asking is: "<i>Who am I</i>?"<br />
<br />
Have we gotten so caught up in the perceived necessities of life that we have forgotten who we truly are? How many of us root our identity in our accomplishments? How many of us have the daily dialogue of: "I want to do this, but I <i>should</i> do that instead"?<br />
<br />
Therein lies that evil word: <b>should</b>. I've said many times to anxious friends and family when they go on a "should" rant: "Stop should-ing all over yourself!" I am not suggesting that we cease to be responsible adults. I am, however, suggesting that it is time to zoom out and take a look at how we identify ourselves, specifically through the lens of how we choose to spend our time.<br />
<br />
We do not have to live a life of obligation. It can be filled with play, with joy, with the freedom to choose. The dishes can wait - go out and chase the blue skies. Delight yourself with the outdoors. Roll around in the grass if it pleases you. Curl up with a book and a cup of tea. Get a baby-sitter and go dancing. Do something that makes you smile.<br />
<br />
If there is time enough to make a to-do list and subsequently stress over it, there is time enough to play. Choose to laugh, choose to relax, and enjoy the exhilaration of <i>making that choice</i>. Through this process of choosing joy, we begin to see more clearly the true essence of who we are.<br />
<br />
We have enough time. We simply have to choose how we use it.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-68468610434957897092018-04-01T19:33:00.001-07:002018-04-01T19:33:54.452-07:00The Right Question<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I thought I had to choose one over the other. Dancing or writing. <i>I can't possibly focus on both</i>, I would tell myself. <i>There's only so much creative energy I can muster, and I must allocate it accordingly depending on mood and opportunity. </i>I thought dancing and writing were separate from each other. I thought I had to choose. Indulge in one, and starve myself of the other. </span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Wrong.</span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Zadie Smith's soul-quenching words (found in Maria Popova's <a href="https://www.brainpickings.org/2018/03/08/zadie-smith-dance-lessons-for-writers/?utm_source=Brain+Pickings&utm_campaign=ffcd5cb277-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2018_03_09&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_179ffa2629-ffcd5cb277-239284369&mc_cid=ffcd5cb277&mc_eid=8965c5c0e2" target="_blank">Brain Pickings</a>) opened my eyes to a truth that has been lingering under the surface, just out of reach: I cannot have one with<i>out</i> the other. Writing and dancing don't just coexist, they <i>inform</i> one another. They are stronger together, like an embrace from both parents at once. They are the same message told in two languages. </span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Writing and dancing - they are both platforms for telling stories.</span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">I've been waiting for the best, most opportune, most inspired moment to write. I wait, and I wait, and I wait some more. Likewise, I wait for energy imbued with confidence and sex appeal to dance. I wait for the belief that I am able to dance well. I am still waiting.</span></span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>When will the perfect moment of inspiration arrive?</i> I ask myself. <i>When will I be perfectly confident in my own skin?</i></span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">No, these are not the right questions.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I am waiting as if writing and dancing have anything to do with me. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As if without me they won't exist. I am not a conjurer of words and movement who's art can only be preceded by the most ideal creative circumstances possible. I am not a super hero with super powers. I am a curator of stories. A curator who will be waiting forever if she doesn't ask the right question. </span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There is, after all, only one: <i>What story wants to be told today?</i></span></div>
Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-5158943328061753712018-03-07T02:48:00.001-08:002018-03-07T02:52:05.871-08:00LondoloziLondolozi: "Protector of all living things." Dare I call it the jewel of South Africa? It was most certainly the crowning jewel of our visit to Jacques' home-country. Londolozi game reserve has many qualities worthy of a blog post, but what I found most striking about the people there was their clarity of vision. Every person we encountered at this enigmatic game reserve knew not just <i>what</i> they wanted, but <i>why</i> they wanted it. In Londolozi, the staff are not working for the usual reasons people seek employment. It's clear, from the first handshake you receive upon arrival, that this is a way of life and a labour of love.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Why do you do what you do? Why do you want what you want?</i> These are questions that constantly plague my mind, so when I meet someone who knows the answer, I listen carefully.<br />
<br />
Our game driver, Guy, said, paraphrasing a well-known quote, "When you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."<br />
<br />
I immediately exclaimed, "That's my life goal!"<br />
<br />
Then, muttering as I gazed over the landscape in the setting sun, "I want to know what that's like." It was clear that both our game driver, and our tracker, Shadrach, loved their jobs.<br />
<br />
The next day, Chris Goodman was talking with us about the vision of Londolozi's founders and staff. (To read/watch more about this, click <u><a href="https://www.londolozi.com/en/about/" target="_blank">here</a></u>.) As he began to speak about preserving the land and protecting the wild life, his tone changed. His hands danced with his words as they spilled out of him. His eyes were clear and focused; locked in on the image within his mind that he was describing. <i>This is what passion looks like</i>, I thought. My heart quickened as he spoke of renewal, allowing, abundance... he was speaking of protecting the earth by letting nature take it's course, using words I've fallen in love with in the recent months leading up to this trip. <br />
<br />
In excitement I told Chris that this was exactly what my passion is regarding health and wellness. Our bodies, like Mother Earth and her creatures, heal themselves when we give them the time, space and nourishment they need. The intuition of nature, like the power of our minds, is our greatest tool for survival. I believe that with the proper environment, we can not only survive, but thrive <i>in abundance.</i><br />
<br />
There <i>are</i> enough resources on this planet. Health and well-being <i>are</i> available to us. The only question is: <i>are we allowing and facilitating our natural tendency to flourish, or are we trying to control, and therefore resist, the abundant life that is our birthright as living things?</i><br />
<br />
The lessons that can be learned from observing the wildlife in Kruger National Park are ubiquitous. Spend more than a few minutes observing any two species, whether it be giraffe and zebra, lion and hyena, impala and oxpecker birds, and it's clear that life exists as it does because of these symbiotic relationships. We need to work together to succeed. Full stop.<br />
<br />
There is an immense amount of pride and greed saturating the rat race that modern-day Western society is running. Independence, fame, and status are the jewels of the West. Conversely, in Londolozi, their values are freedom, harmony, dignity, trust, unity - just to name a few. Perhaps this is where that "<a href="https://www.londolozi.com/en/about/" target="_blank">Londolozi feeling</a>" comes from. They respect those who have come before, appreciate the daily blessings they have (which they share with one another), and they look forward with eagerness to a brighter and more abundant future for the earth and everything living in it.<br />
<br />
I'll admit, I am a little envious of such clarity. But who wouldn't want that kind of vision for their lives? Thank you, people and animals of Londolozi, for your inspiration.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-37100812020770528982017-12-30T22:08:00.002-08:002017-12-30T22:16:54.613-08:00Embrace It AllDecember 30th, 2017 marks 25 years since my father left his physical body to return to the fullness-of-who-he-is. Let that mean what it means to you, or feel free to disagree. Either way, that is not the point of this.<br />
<br />
I don't feel sad. I wondered for awhile if I <i>should</i> feel sad. It could be easy to focus on all the things I believe he's "missed", but I don't see it that way. I don't think he's missed a single moment. In fact, I believe that not only has he been present for all of the wonderful (and not-so-wonderful) milestones a daughter wants her father to be a part of, but he has a more complete perspective than any of us still wandering around on the planet, stuck in these physical vessels. Yes, I used the word "stuck". I believe the man we know as Michael Lindemann is in fact more alive and more free than we can begin to imagine. As such, he has been an enormous influence and faithful guide to me all these 25 years.<br />
<br />
So, on the eve of 2018 I am writing this post filled with gratitude... for all that my father has been to me over the years, and for how much closer I feel to him now than I ever did while our hands were still able to touch.<br />
<br />
My father once wrote, "Right now, this moment, is life. Be a worthy steward of the gift: embrace it all."<br />
<br />
I am very happy to say, that is exactly what I am doing. Rather than wasting energy lamenting the past and "what might have been", or sweating over New Years resolutions and "what will be", I am soaking up each beautiful moment as it comes, no matter what it brings with it. For moments are what make up our lives, and the greatest feelings of appreciation cannot be found in what has come before, or what will come later, but only in what <b>is. </b>Right. Now.<br />
<br />
Thank you, Daddy, for who you are. You are amazing. I love you.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-86727365445189357622017-11-21T20:43:00.000-08:002017-11-21T21:02:49.907-08:00Diving deep: How it feels to launch a crowdfunding campaign<div class="MsoNormal">
How <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">does</i> it feel
to launch a crowdfunding campaign? In a word: terrifying. One could easily talk
oneself out of this. Not only are you asking people for their financial
support, but you are asking them to put faith in you and your creation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In another word: vulnerability. You are exposing yourself and
your art. You are revealing that which is sacred to you. You are letting people
in – friends, family, and strangers. You are letting them <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">see</i> you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So there you are, standing naked in front of the masses, forcing
yourself to make direct eye-contact with the on-lookers, your trembling hands
clenched at your sides, saying with as much confidence as you can muster: “My
art is good enough.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what you are really saying is: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> am good enough.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Enough.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s a loaded word, with a heavy meaning. Most of us, for
some percentage of our lives, wonder or worry if we are good enough. Or enough
in general. Enough for another person, for our job, for our art, for ourselves.
Let’s suppose, for the sake of argument, that we are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> enough. Is that really so bad? Will we implode? Will the world
stop turning? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe the real question is, then: “Enough” according to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whom</i>? Where or what or who has created
this perfect, gold-standard that defines this heavily laden word? We all seem
to hold ourselves up next to this shining example of everything-ness, yet we
don’t even know where it comes from or what <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">it</b> even is.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How very silly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I <i>do</i> know (we’re diving deeper now, hang in there!), is
that the subject of “enough” is the Ego’s terrain. It is the Ego that weighs
and measures and compares. It is the Ego that accuses us and makes us feel
less-than; makes us feel unworthy. Unworthy of love, belonging, and true
connection. It is also the Ego that swells with pride upon receiving accolades,
or cowers in shame when discredited. Why do we trust such a wayward, fickle
thing?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Soul, on the other hand, finds this whole subject matter
entirely irrelevant. Our Soul (feel free to replace this word with something
that fits into your personal worldview) knows that we are already enough. In
fact, the Soul doesn’t even know that word. To question your worth and
worthiness is something the Soul never does, because it knows <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you are already complete</i>. There’s no
benchmark to meet, value to obtain, or feat to accomplish that will change
that. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The goal of the Soul is to create and co-create as much as possible, and
to do so with the utmost joy. Engaging with other souls in all of their
enough-ness, with all they have to offer <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">as
they are,</i> is co-creation at its best. This is, in my opinion, what it means to
live joyfully.*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is with this attitude that I pressed “Launch” on my
Kickstarter campaign, knowing that this is but one phase in this exquisite
experience of co-creation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, friends, let us create! Not to achieve anything (though
that may be a natural by-product), but simply for the sheer JOY of it, knowing
that no matter what: we are enough!<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*Disclaimer: I write these words as fact, because it happens
to be what I believe to be true. I recognize, however, that at the end of the
day it is just one opinion among many. Opinions are like… well, you know the
saying. ;)</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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#forthejoyofliving #cocreationatitsbest #elizabethgilbert
#bigmagic #brenebrown #daringgreatly<o:p></o:p></div>
Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-32700290886380353102017-11-09T21:14:00.001-08:002017-11-09T21:14:38.269-08:00The Story Behind the Story - Final Part"Why haven't I accomplished this yet? Or this? Or that??" we ask ourselves regarding our personal goals, whether they be short-term or life-long. We beat upon our own backs, bemoaning our circumstances, shaking our fists at the gods, and looking around desperately for someone or something to blame. <i>Anything</i>. Lost in this shame spiral (that looks an awful lot like a cosmic black hole), we perpetuate this cycle of goal-struggle-blame, goal-struggle-blame. By inspecting the trees we've planted with a microscope, we miss the fact that there's an entire forest that we, ourselves, propagated, nurtured, & brought into being.<br />
<br />
Another way of saying this is, we often don't know how far we've come until we pause for a moment in our self-flagellation to take a step back and consider where we were 10 years ago. Five years ago. Goodness, even <i>one</i> year ago. While I don't condone dwelling on the past (since it can often be a slippery slope into the Land of "If Only"; a stinking swamp full of self-induced guilt trips and potholes of regret), it is helpful to occasionally zoom out long enough to see that progress is, in fact, being made.<br />
<br />
So if progress is being made through the struggle, almost in spite of ourselves, how much <i>more</i> progress could be made, and made joyfully, if we didn't struggle? What if we just... play?<br />
<br />
Yes, that's right. Play. Enjoy. Take risks - for fun. Follow your curiosity. I mean, if you're going to progress either way, you may as well enjoy the process.<br />
<br />
Two years ago, I had an un-edited draft of a manuscript. Just one. I had no website, no illustrator, no book designer, no idea what Mail Chimp was, and was blissfully ignorant on what it takes to self-publish a book. I now have a all of these things, a final draft of a manuscript (plus a few more in the works), and a smidgen less ignorance in the realm of self-publishing.<br />
<br />
To my dismay, I admittedly struggled to obtain these things. It hasn't been all toil and hardship by any means, but has been far too much sweat and tears (thankfully no blood) for my liking.<br />
<br />
I am happy to say that from this day forth, I am changing the game by making it exactly that: <i>a game</i>.<br />
<br />
Thanks to heaps of inspiration from a number of sources, but most recently Elizabeth Gilbert's <i>Big Magic</i>, I have seen the light. Creativity is not about the outcome, and never will be. It's not about making a living, it's not about fame and fortune. Those things may never come to pass. They might... but they might not. Creativity is all about enjoyment, play and wonder. All of it. Making creativity outcome-dependent only invites suffering and scares your creativity away.<br />
<br />
In short, if you're not enjoying it (whatever <i>it</i> is), then do something else.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-1524692731873363132017-10-30T22:21:00.002-07:002017-10-30T22:21:52.802-07:00The Angry T.V. and the Dumb RemoteDid you ever write ridiculous stories as a kid? It may come as no surprise that it was one of my favourite things to do as a child. I'm interrupting "The Story Behind the Story" to bring you this little recently-discovered gem, written by yours truly at the ripe ol' age of 10.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(This is entirely un-edited. I've maintained all original spelling, punctuation & unnecessary underlining - however inappropriate - for the sake of authenticity).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The <u>Angry</u> T.V. and the <u>Dumb</u> Remote</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Hey! I was having a really nice nap," said the sleepy t.v. as the remote switched him on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Oh shut up! I'm the one doing all the work. Beside's it's time for you to entertain," snapped the remote.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">T.v. exclaimed, "If you're not careful, my circuits will short out, you unsophisticated remote!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Is that a compliment?," replied the remote, as he flipped through the channels.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Stop! That was my favorite show on channel 10. It's called the 'T.V. Channel'."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Boring! Lets watch 'Remote Watch' because they always show those cute little batteries in swimsuits."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">T.v. switched off abruptly and the screen was blank. As soon as remote turned on, t.v. switched off. This went on for thirty minutes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Now look what you did! You made me miss 'Remote Watch', you big electric square!" yapped remote.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"How dare you call me that!", raged t.v. "Plus you made me miss the 'T.v. Channel'."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Remote was outraged and kept on calling t.v. names that didn't even make sense. Then t.v. came in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Well you skinny little plastic button pusher, you better stop calling me names or I'll jump off my stand and crush you," threatened t.v.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"You wouldn't! I'll keep calling you names and I doubt you'll crush me!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He kept calling t.v. names, so t.v. did what he said he would do. Then his parents got another remote...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
Well, there's plenty more stories and poems where this came from! In a way, I suppose this <i>is</i> part of the "The Story Behind the Story". Sometimes we have to look back a few years (or decades) in order to see how far we've come.<br />
<br />Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-67487483400024931162017-09-20T01:14:00.001-07:002017-09-20T01:14:36.834-07:00The Story Behind the Story - Part 5I debated for awhile the subject of "Part 5". Do I write about the joys and challenges of moving across the world, and how that influenced the evolution of this book? Do I write about the roller coaster of collaborating with other artists in an effort to manifest my vision & my art? These topics may appear on this blog, but not today. I have landed, instead, upon a subject that we can all relate to.<br />
<br />
I have been at home, sick with a virus, for a week now. I don't know about you, but illness often sends me into a time of self-reflection. Brooding, as it were. In between Netflix binges of course. In one particularly introspective moment today, I found myself wrestling with a familiar opponent known as Self-Doubt. Familiar to more than just me, I am certain. That is, do you know anyone that has not doubted themselves at some time or another?<br />
<br />
This, for me, is often presents itself as a fear of failure. This fear has long since accompanied me on my journey as a writer. As I was pondering this concept (where it comes from, how to get rid of it, why is it such a pain in the ass, etc.), I realised that it was silly of me to fear failure when I have not first defined the antithesis of failure: <b>success</b>.<br />
<br />
How does one define success? Do we listen to society's standards of such things? Is it about money? Recognition? In my musing I came across an old journal entry that, lucky me, contained a definition of success that I had penned down a while ago. It just so happened to touch on the very subject I had been wrestling with: that pesky Self-Doubt. So, I thought I would share it with you. It starts like many of my "ponderings" - with a question:<br />
<br />
<i>Who are the great successes? The one's who stay true to themselves. The one's who are not driven by market demands, only their Artist's demands. Even more difficult, the one's who do not doubt. I do not mean doubting one's abilities; such as your ability to rise up in society as a household name. (That, if it happens, is a by-product of your true success.) It is only natural to doubt your abilities from time to time. What the successful artists of this world do not doubt is their worth and worthiness. Their <b>true</b> selves. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I do not mean staunch individualism that protests "Me against society! Me against the system!" The system and society are irrelevant in the face of artistry. Aligning with your vision, co-creating with other artists, following your excitement - here is where the relevance lies. Here is where my focus must be for true success. Success by the world's standards? That may or may not be part of my personal success. That is, again, irrelevant. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>If I have succeeded in staying true to myself, if I have not forsaken the integrity of the Artist within me, if I have sought excitement, love, joy, & passion in every moment, circumstance and decision, then I believe I have honoured my father's legacy as a writer. Failure, in the light of following my joy, is not possible. </i><i>If that is not the definition of success for Gretchen Lindemann, then I don't know what is. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
What's <b>your</b> <b>personal</b> definition of success?Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-86494201948173423592017-09-10T01:26:00.001-07:002017-09-10T01:26:18.211-07:00The Story Behind the Story - Part 4<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"I'm
sorry," I murmur to my 28-week-old patient in as gentle a voice as I can
muster, "I'm sorry that every breath is a struggle, I’m sorry that every
touch seems to causes you pain. I promise it’s helping, but I’m sorry it hurts.
You’re so small, so delicate, but you are also resilient beyond understanding.”
I know it's not my fault, my apology is not one of personal responsibility. I'm
apologizing for Mother Nature, and the fact that we're getting in her way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Mum shows up,
wheeled in by her husband. The look on her face tells me this is the worst day
of her life, and also that she has more love for this little person I'm
murmuring over then I could ever comprehend. I have no children of my own and I
cannot possibly understand. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I try anyways,
speaking softly to her and giving her what I hope is a sympathetic and
encouraging smile. "Hello, my name is Gretchen. I’m the nurse looking
after your little one today.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Hello.” She
attempts to smile back at me. Her husband wheels her over to the cot. I lower
it so she can see her baby better. She puts her hands to her mouth, eyes
filling with tears. “He’s so small.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I try my
sympathetic encouraging smile again. “Yes, but he’s actually a good size for
his gestation!” I’m trying to sound encouraging. She doesn’t respond. She can’t
take her eyes off her baby.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I trudge
onward. “I know this is not what you had planned. But your little one is in
good hands." <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Does she think I mean
myself? I mean the whole team. Shit.</i> I can tell he's only half listening to
me anyway. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Am I allowed
to touch him?” she asks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Of course,” I
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I open the
isolette door for her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She reaches
out, an IV in the back of her hand. She's trembling as she strokes his head.
"Is he going to be okay?" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">No clue</span></i><span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How could I know? How
can I possibly know if your baby will survive, let alone be "okay"??</i>
Deep breath. The first thought won’t work for a response. Let’s try the second
one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Right now
he's stable, and we will know more as time goes on. He's had a rough go of it so
far, so he's a little quiet right now." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Stop while
you're ahead, Gretchen. First of all, what does “stable” mean to her right now,
really? He's ventilated for goodness sake. Without that machine he would last a
matter of minutes. Don't make promises you can't keep. Is that really why he's
quiet? Or is he bleeding into his brain? Or was it the hypoxic ischemic insult
his brain most likely received in the birthing process? We won't know until he
gets a cranial ultrasound. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"When can
I hold him?" his mom asks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Hopefully
tomorrow. We just need to make sure he's stable and replace his umbilical lines
with a PICC line."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"I thought
you said he was stable now. And his what-lines?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>Fuck</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I back pedal
and spend the rest of the next hour explaining and reassuring, without
promises, while also going on about my duties. Each task of mine designed to
sustain this baby's life. Eventually my patient’s mom decides she’s in too much
pain and too tired to be up anymore, and her husband wheels her back to her
room, on another unit. I’m secretly thankful, because now I can focus fully on
the tasks at hand, without having to explain every move I make. I look at the
clock. Three and a half hours to go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">By the time my
12.5-hour shift is over, I feel like “butter scraped over too much bread”.
(Thank you, Tolkien, for that ever-so-applicable imagery). My energy is thin;
stretched. I'm afraid a strong breeze will blow me away into a million little
pieces, leaving me lost in the wind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I get on my
bike and begin pedaling home, trying to keep my focus on the road. As I cycle I
can feel my Artist stretching and yawning, waking up after having been put to
sleep by beeping monitors and too many medical terms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Can we write
when we get home?" She pipes up with a voice like a small child asking for
pancakes on Sunday morning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Write?” I
reply, incredulous. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is she insane?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Yeah, you
know, putting words together to form sentences, sentences to form ideas, ideas
to form stories?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don’t
appreciate the sarcasm. “I know what writing is. It’s very nature is what makes
it impossible right now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“But it’s been
sooooo long!” she whines. No pancakes today. Even though it’s Sunday. Mommy’s
too tired.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I know, I
know… I miss it too.” I feel what she’s feeling. Starved for art. Creative
atrophy. It hurts in the most exhausting kind of way. “I’m just so… I don’t
know. Drained.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Can you just
switch your nurse brain off and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>
on?” she asks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As if it’s that
easy. I take a deep breath and sigh louder than necessary, getting ready to
pedal up the last hill before home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I’ll tell you
what. We will just rest tonight. Find something that perks both of us up. We
need to refill the well and take time to transition out of work mode.” The too-quiet
28 weeker crosses my mind. I shake my head as if to remove the image. “What do
you say?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Ok! I have an
idea. How about we eat way too much chocolate and peanut butter as soon as we
walk in the door?” My Artist suggests.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Done!” I say.
I like this plan. “And then?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Um… lie on the
floor and thank our lucky stars for two days off?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Yep. This is a
good. What else?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Watch Netflix
because watching stories is the next best thing to writing our own.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Alrighty. I
think we can manage that,” I reply. “We should feel right as rain tomorrow for
some writing.” Inside I know that’s not true. I know it’s going to take at
least another day of well-filling before we can get into the creative groove.
But I don’t want to tell her that. I’ve already refused her the pancakes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Yay for
writing! I can’t wait,” she says with enthusiasm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Me neither, my
little Artist,” I mumble. I can hear the fatigue in my voice. “Me neither.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I arrive
home, I turn my mind away from the fact that I’ll have one day of creativity
before the next work stretch, and onto the chocolate that I’ll soon be
consuming. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Whiskey will go nicely with
some chocolate</i>, I think to myself. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes,
that’ll do just fine</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-19562227704508115252017-08-21T02:45:00.004-07:002017-08-21T02:45:54.560-07:00The Story Behind the Story - Part 3I climb up the stairs of what was once an old apartment in Northwest Portland. Each creaking step leads me closer to the intoxicating aroma that can only be found in a house fitted with an entire wall of tea. I breathe in the familiar smell, feeling as if the creative magic is already happening. Opening the door at the top of the stairs, the scent hits me full force. <i>Sweet, inspiring, drinkable perfume!</i> I think to myself. It's impossible for me to enter this space and not smile.<br />
<br />
"Coconut maté latte?" The girl behind the counter at Tea Chai Té asks, smirking in her knowing-ness.<br />
"How'd you know?" I say, facetiously. I hand her my stamp card.<br />
"Last one," she says. "Looks like you get this one for free."<br />
"Sweet!"<br />
"Pot or mug?"<br />
"Pot, I'll be here for awhile."<br />
"Sitting outside?" She asks, though she already knows the answer. Of course I am sitting outside.<br />
<br />
Outside on the balcony at a too-small table in a wobbly chair is where I find my writing zen. Northwest 23rd bustles with shoppers and dog-walkers who are interesting enough to provide an occasional moments rest away from the screen, but not so much that I get distracted. I put in my headphones and turn on Bon Iver -- the only music with lyrics that I can write too. Otherwise it's my film score station on Pandora. Both options seem to waft easily between background noise and muse-like inspiration. Sometimes, there are moments as I'm writing when I feel as if the music has been written for this exact moment in time, as if Bon Iver or Howard Shore have seen my sentences before even me, and have written the soundtrack for them.<br />
<br />
Delusions of grandeur aside, I put my fingers to the keyboard, and the story begins unfolding. Choppy and stumbling at first, it soon begins to flow. The maté, the music, the wobbly chair, and I all work together to enter that state of freedom that can best be described as taking flight. Not in a plane, but as a winged creature set free from a cage.<br />
<br />
This thought leads me to the next: What <i>is</i> my cage? What is <i>your</i> cage? What is keeping me, or you, from flying freely in a state of creative impulse and utter joy? I push that thought away for another time, and turn my attention back to the page.<br />
<br />
I write and I write. The sun is low enough now that the buildings on the opposite side of the street are now silhouettes. I look at the clock. Tea Chai Té will be closing soon. My coconut maté latte has long-since transformed into a cold sludge of soggy leaves. The window of creative energy is closing, and my inner Artist is tired. The kind of tired one feels after a productive yet satisfying day.<br />
<br />
It is time for this bird to land, for tomorrow I must face the proverbial cage.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-86072471513135843622017-08-09T12:00:00.000-07:002017-08-09T12:00:33.549-07:00The Story Behind the Story - Part 2<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s November 2014. My grandmother sends me a text. “I’ve
found something for you… I sent it in the mail… You should get it in a few
days… maybe you could do something with them?? Emoji emoji emoji. Grandma is impressively good at texting. For being a grandma, that is. Her texts make me
smile. I’m always impressed by the sheer number of ellipses between each
thought. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sure
enough, a few days later, I receive a large manila envelope in the mail. I am
shocked and delighted by what I find inside. Hand written, on yellow memo pad
paper, are the original two stories of Mr. Schnoozle, accompanied by an
ever-so-endearing coloured pencil drawing done by my <a href="http://valeriesjodin.com/" target="_blank">aunt</a>. Underneath the image, in
her type-font-perfect penmanship, it says, “Is this the Mr. Schnoozle <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i> know?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I call my
grandmother, squealing with glee. “I can’t believe you found these! This is
amazing! Where were they?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh,
Gretchen, you wouldn’t believe it!” Her voice bubbles over with giggles, as it
often does when she is excited about something – one of my favourite sounds in
the whole world. “Well, you know how Papa and I are trying to clean out our
house to get ready for moving to Grants Pass.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mmm hmm,”
I say, eager to hear how this story pans out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You
wouldn’t even believe the amount of stuff we have collected over the years. I
mean, I just keep saying to Daddy, I mean Papa, “Where did all this stuff come
from? Well, anyway, Papa had just taken this box full of who-knows-what out to
the big garbage bin in the garage. He was about to walk away, and something
made him stop. There was an envelope sitting on top of the pile, and he didn’t
know what was in it – I have chills just thinking about this – "<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Me too!” I
interject.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
“ – I mean, imagine his surprise
when he found these stories in your Daddy’s handwriting! I heard him from the house
saying, ‘Julie, Julie, you have to come look at this,’ and when I saw what he
was holding, oh Gretchen, we both just started bawling!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
“Oh grandma, what an amazing
story! I can’t tell you how happy this makes me to have these again!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
“I know how you love writing, and
I thought maybe you could do something with them.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
“Yeah… maybe!” I tried to sound
enthusiastic. “We’ll see!” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Write
children’s stories?</i> The thought had never crossed my mind... until now.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
I don’t remember when it was or
where I was when I started to write. All I know is that when I finished reading
the stories she had sent me, I wanted to know what happened next to Mr. Schnoozle. I wanted to
know what other adventures he would go on, who else he would meet, whom he
would befriend. I imagined what my dad would’ve written if he’d had the chance.
<i>Would I finally have made it into his tales? </i>The little girl in me wondered. In
an effort to answer these questions, I began to write. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Two years, and a
million revisions, later, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Adventures
of Mr. Schnoozle</i> was born.<o:p></o:p></div>
Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-15258444826430621292017-08-02T01:06:00.000-07:002017-08-02T01:06:09.441-07:00The Story Behind the Story - Part 1<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
“But how come <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m</i> not in the story?” I hollered. My
father had just finished reading to my brother and me the story of a little
green creature named Mr. Schnoozle who lived in Eric’s backyard and was best
friends with a crow. </div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Eric’s</i> backyard.
Why must it be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">his</i> backyard? Why not
mine? At the very least both of ours. We both live in this house after all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“I haven’t written one with you
in it yet,” my father replied, in a tone that one might use to approach a
growling tigress. I glared at him. I mean, what was I? Chopped liver? <o:p></o:p></div>
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“But it’s not fair!” I was
indignant. Arms crossed and brow furrowed, it’s a wonder there wasn’t smoke
coming out of my ears. I mean, he had plenty of time to include me in a
story. Four years to be exact. It’s just because Eric was two years older than
me. That thought helped a little. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I guess
that makes sense</i>, I thought to myself. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He
did come first after all.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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“Do you want to hear the second
story, or not?” my father asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I plopped down in my bed,
slamming my head into the pillow, and turned to face the wall. Of course I
wanted to hear the second one, but I didn’t want to tell him that. I took a few
deep, angry breaths, scowling with all my might.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Come on,
Sis!” Eric said. I could almost hear him rolling his eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
curiosity won out over my anger. “Fine,” I mumbled.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Does that
mean yes?” my father asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes,” I
said, barely above a whisper. I felt a strange combination of dejected for
having been excluded from the story, and excitement to hear what happens next
to Mr. Schnoozle.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He began. I
knew now not to expect to hear my name, so I focused instead on the actual
story. The cadence of his voice calmed my fiery spirit. I liked imagining I was
as big as Mr. Schnoozle, only 5 inches tall, visiting him in his mushroom house,
and exploring the backyard with him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> It was</span> 1991,
and had I known that we would have only one more year with my father, perhaps I
wouldn’t have thrown a fit. Perhaps I would’ve been happy simply to be with him
and hear his voice, and appreciate the fact that he took the time to create
art, and to create it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">for us</i>. I like
to think I would’ve soaked up every moment with him, memorized the words he
said, and the shape of his mouth as he formed them. I wish I would’ve branded the
memory of him on my brain, and thanked the heavens for each breath he took.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But I
didn’t know that then. He was in remission, and to me that meant he was all
better. As it turned out, the lymphoma took him before he could write another
Schnoozle story. Five days after Christmas, 1992, I lost my father, and as far
as any of us were concerned, his stories died with him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> After
a brief phase of refusing to grieve, the pendulum swung
and I couldn’t get enough of his photos, his journals, his memorabilia. I
cannot count the hours I have spent, sitting on my bedroom floor, looking through
my music box that jingled “Somewhere over the rainbow” while I pored over his
military uniform badges, his driver’s license, his emergency medical bracelet. It
often surprised me how cold that metal bracelet was to the touch. I traced my
fingers over the engraving of the snake wrapped around the staff. <i>He wore this</i>, I would tell myself over
and over again, trying to feel closer to him. I would hold the pen that has his
name etched in the side, and feel the rubber grip, holding it as I imagined he
did. <i>He wrote with this</i>, I would tell
myself over and over again. <i>He wrote
stories</i>, <i>for Eric and I. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>What
happened to those stories, anyway?...</i></span>Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060539079021817920.post-18852099570238400342017-07-12T02:17:00.001-07:002017-07-12T02:17:44.374-07:00Navel Gazing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOWyJ9kP1R0G0LfCfqZOlorx9uRJKVsf0837yt99JwzducYBPBd7yp3jxLWiSNi6gheUnzPcgkBjjkC6caaouGYov-nd9mRci_Yi6RgqefyIQ7lqvh97P-opbW_hnWNgK64l1zsbZR72I/s1600/Will+you+say+yes-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOWyJ9kP1R0G0LfCfqZOlorx9uRJKVsf0837yt99JwzducYBPBd7yp3jxLWiSNi6gheUnzPcgkBjjkC6caaouGYov-nd9mRci_Yi6RgqefyIQ7lqvh97P-opbW_hnWNgK64l1zsbZR72I/s320/Will+you+say+yes-.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
There's often a feeling of self-doubt upon returning to one's residence after some time away. <i>Did that really just happen? Did I just wake up from a crazy-awesome dream? Are you telling me that I <b>can't</b> just meet up with my fellow weirdos whenever I want because there's an ocean between us?... Do I really belong here?</i> Often the thought-stopping occurs here. Buck up, and move on. Back to "life". Or, if you're like me -- a sucker for a juicy existential crisis -- the thought-spiral continues. <i>Where <b>do</b> I belong? Where is home? What does it mean to belong, anyway? Is it something to be earned? Is it a result of the people you surround yourself with? Is it a choice?</i><br />
<br />
Whatever the answer may be for you, I think most, if not all, of us at <a href="http://www.yesandyesyes.com/how-to-say-yes/" target="_blank">YxYY</a> found a sense of belonging this last weekend. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say some version of, "I've found my [people] here," I could've paid for the whole weekend, no problem. (Feel free to insert family, freaks, weirdos or some other applicable descriptor into the brackets).<br />
<br />
In one of the many fine and fabulous un-scheduled sessions, a group of us "navel gazers" tried to pin point two things: What brings us to places and events such as YxYY, XOXO, Burning Man, etc., and perhaps more importantly, how do we continue this awesome Yes-ness past this 72hrs of the rad and fantastic?<br />
<br />
If I could label the connecting thread that drew us to Yes& and tied us all together, it would be: creativity. This event began, and has continued, with an idea. An amazing, creative idea started by the Radical Five Founders. That idea led to an intent; the intent to connect wholeheartedly and authentically with other weirdos. That intent has led to what I think is a pillar of Yes: permission. You have permission to be 100% you, 100% of the time. All are welcome, all are invited. Come as you are, and be accepted & appreciated for your unique & quirky perspective. You belong. Full stop.<br />
<br />
This wonderfulness naturally leads to the second question us navel-gazers poised: how <b>do</b> we continue this "perpetual yes" (as one of the Five put it)? Three days was a teasey taster of how beautiful intentional community can be. "<i>We want more!", </i>we cried out together in room 533 of the Ace Hotel. Can we find this out in the "real world"? Why can't this <b>be</b> the real world? Can we tap into this as a steady supply of inspiration? A drip-feed of inclusivity and positive intention? Or must we hop from event to event, looking for our next hit of total acceptance? How can we use these events as a boost; as a provider of momentum in this movement of "yes", rather than as our sole source of yay-sayer dopamine?<br />
<br />
It would be ideal if this final paragraph contained the answers to all of these questions. Alas, I do not have the answers, but I know we, as a collective, do! What I do have, however, is an idea. (And isn't that how this all started anyway?) I believe Step One is to start with yourself. Make the intent to connect to yourself. Give yourself permission to "wave your freak flag." Seek out inspiration for your Inner Artist. Accept yourself as you are. Say YES to YOU. Do that, and I can guarantee you, you will find your "people" on this yes-filled journey.<br />
<br />
Got it? Great. Now... what is Step Two? Well, that's up to you.Gretchen Lindemannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12126763325013307722noreply@blogger.com0