Echoes

I am happy. Contented. For the most part.

I am happy, but I feel like crying, for I am also sad. Mourning, slowly. It feels more like savoring; soaking up every moment.

It is an absolute refusal to take anyone – any moment – for granted.

Breathing. This is my focus while I wait, while I enjoy. I look around at the smiling faces. My family and friends carrying on joyously. Their lives continuing on, busy and full. Mine… Soon to change dramatically.

I see myself standing amongst them. I am still, and they are buzzing about me, a blur of color, light and sound.

Time passes. The sound fades, the colors soften, and they are gone. I am alone with the light. It is lonely here, where touch becomes memory, and laughter is but an echo.

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

Socrates

Homeward Bound

Momentum.

Although I am sitting in a relatively quiet, air-conditioned cafe, my heart races. If I sit still enough, I can count the beats by the thump in my chest.

I feel the winds of change flowing in and through me. A transition has begun.

Letting go. Stepping forth. Savoring every aspect of the here and now, knowing I will be releasing it and grasping a new present in a new place.

There is a fear of loneliness that casts the sheerest shadow on the light of my excitement. My anticipation shines with vibrance nonetheless.

There is a gratitude for the beauty of my life that swells within me. A balloon in my chest. Full and weightless, I float. Hovering, I step away – step towards. The momentum carries me.

Away.

The momentum is swift, and sure. A steady stream of events and energy. Leaping over boulders as if pebbles, running toward the ocean, toward opportunity.

It is quiet. My heart beats louder with every inch gained. I am coming home.