I am happy. Contented. For the most part.
I am happy, but I feel like crying, for I am also sad. Mourning, slowly. It feels more like savoring; soaking up every moment.
It is an absolute refusal to take anyone – any moment – for granted.
Breathing. This is my focus while I wait, while I enjoy. I look around at the smiling faces. My family and friends carrying on joyously. Their lives continuing on, busy and full. Mine… Soon to change dramatically.
I see myself standing amongst them. I am still, and they are buzzing about me, a blur of color, light and sound.
Time passes. The sound fades, the colors soften, and they are gone. I am alone with the light. It is lonely here, where touch becomes memory, and laughter is but an echo.