December 30th, 2017 marks 25 years since my father left his physical body to return to the fullness-of-who-he-is. Let that mean what it means to you, or feel free to disagree. Either way, that is not the point of this.
I don't feel sad. I wondered for awhile if I should feel sad. It could be easy to focus on all the things I believe he's "missed", but I don't see it that way. I don't think he's missed a single moment. In fact, I believe that not only has he been present for all of the wonderful (and not-so-wonderful) milestones a daughter wants her father to be a part of, but he has a more complete perspective than any of us still wandering around on the planet, stuck in these physical vessels. Yes, I used the word "stuck". I believe the man we know as Michael Lindemann is in fact more alive and more free than we can begin to imagine. As such, he has been an enormous influence and faithful guide to me all these 25 years.
So, on the eve of 2018 I am writing this post filled with gratitude... for all that my father has been to me over the years, and for how much closer I feel to him now than I ever did while our hands were still able to touch.
My father once wrote, "Right now, this moment, is life. Be a worthy steward of the gift: embrace it all."
I am very happy to say, that is exactly what I am doing. Rather than wasting energy lamenting the past and "what might have been", or sweating over New Years resolutions and "what will be", I am soaking up each beautiful moment as it comes, no matter what it brings with it. For moments are what make up our lives, and the greatest feelings of appreciation cannot be found in what has come before, or what will come later, but only in what is. Right. Now.
Thank you, Daddy, for who you are. You are amazing. I love you.