Monday, 30 October 2017

The Angry T.V. and the Dumb Remote

Did you ever write ridiculous stories as a kid? It may come as no surprise that it was one of my favourite things to do as a child. I'm interrupting "The Story Behind the Story" to bring you this little recently-discovered gem, written by yours truly at the ripe ol' age of 10.

(This is entirely un-edited. I've maintained all original spelling, punctuation & unnecessary underlining - however inappropriate - for the sake of authenticity).

The Angry T.V. and the Dumb Remote

"Hey! I was having a really nice nap," said the sleepy t.v. as the remote switched him on.

"Oh shut up! I'm the one doing all the work. Beside's it's time for you to entertain," snapped the remote.

T.v. exclaimed, "If you're not careful, my circuits will short out, you unsophisticated remote!"

"Is that a compliment?," replied the remote, as he flipped through the channels.

"Stop! That was my favorite show on channel 10. It's called the 'T.V. Channel'."

"Boring! Lets watch 'Remote Watch' because they always show those cute little batteries in swimsuits."

T.v. switched off abruptly and the screen was blank. As soon as remote turned on, t.v. switched off. This went on for thirty minutes.

"Now look what you did! You made me miss 'Remote Watch', you big electric square!" yapped remote.

"How dare you call me that!", raged t.v. "Plus you made me miss the 'T.v. Channel'."

Remote was outraged and kept on calling t.v. names that didn't even make sense. Then t.v. came in.

"Well you skinny little plastic button pusher, you better stop calling me names or I'll jump off my stand and crush you," threatened t.v.

"You wouldn't! I'll keep calling you names and I doubt you'll crush me!"

He kept calling t.v. names, so t.v. did what he said he would do. Then his parents got another remote...

Well, there's plenty more stories and poems where this came from! In a way, I suppose this is part of the "The Story Behind the Story". Sometimes we have to look back a few years (or decades) in order to see how far we've come.