Saturday 5 April 2014

An Irishman's Review

A buddy of mine who hails from Ireland has taken a keen interest in my writing. Upon reading the previously posted poem “Analog Clock”, with me asking him if it needed more, he responded with the following. Pretty spot-on I’d say.



“I ain’t no poem guru and don’t have the same abstract lyrical flair you have but from my reading into it, this piece tells of one’s (Its self-biographical right?) journey inwards in search of the most fundamental life questions and a search for personal truths. It appears the mind has been put under trial and finally confronted! The tick and the tock of the clock is representative of the deafening noise of the conditioned human mind, the trash-talk of the ego, hiding the answer i.e. between or "within” the tick and the tock. The path to get there involves weaving around these disturbances creating an anfractuous path. It feels as though those self questions that were initially asked were met with silence, envoking frustration and as a result the “tick and the tock” were working to find the answers, building to an unbearable agony and what seems to a point of no return, until a realisation (sense of awakening) has been met, the answer to these questions IS the silence?. I’m not sure if I’m a million miles away from this or not (haha!) but either way it ain’t a bad thing to have a third party point of view, am I anyway near the intended underlying plot line? I don’t think I would attempt to add anything to this in a poetic style, it’s your baby with your flow and language, I reckon it would become very disjointed looking if I tried to add anymore. It could be turned into a song though which is a different direction.



BTW, does this piece really need anymore? It seems to me like it stands on its own two feet, you have made your statement, the end leaves the reader thinking, which is what you want right? Maybe an independent sequel needs to be written at a later date?? Sometimes short poems have the greatest impact.“



Thank you, Cian, for honoring my words with yours!

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